Wednesday, October 19, 2011

The Wholly Accurate Pledge

Welcome, dear readers, to Wholly Accurate Reviews.

As the title suggests, we here at WAR are, unlike the rest of the internet, dedicated to providing you with only the finest in truth-based reviewing - time permitting.  Our areas of expertise range from the finest arts (MICRO REVIEW: Picasso was a pretty swell painter) to the poorest...sciences, I guess.  With these sterling, and more importantly unverifiable, credentials in mind, be prepared for hard-hitting criticism and biting wit, draped across every post like mysterious Oriental silks.  In fact, we're absolutely positive that you'll enjoy our deep, meandering prose so much, we're willing to provide you with this ironclad guarantee:

We promise to meet and possibly, though perhaps not probably, even exceed your wildest dreams.

These words are our pledge, our gift, to you, the sight-seers in the majestic forest of rhetoric we call Wholly Accurate Reviews.  Treasure them always.

- Thaddeus Blank, Prevaricator-in-Chief

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